thwipandquip | you know you're gonna be okay

Yeah, of course.

[he doesn't choose to point out that even if it wasn't okay, it's late, far too late for her to be trudging her way across town, even if she probably could still catch a train back without issue. late night brings out the most colorful of characters, and she's injured, no matter how stubbornly brave she might be about it. ]

Want to go lie down or did you want to stay here a little longer?

[peter isn't tired at all, but the idea of tucking her in, of folding himself around her so she can shut her eyes is appealing, even if it means they have to delay more serious talk in favor of sleep. though the idea is all his, it comes with more than a few reasons to be nervous. kate's not the only one mimicking a certain dwarf, as peter looks anywhere other than her face after asking the question before braving his fears and returning his gaze to hers.

it's useless pretending he has any secrets here. she knows what came before — his failed marriage, his failed attempt at reconciling, his commitment to getting his act together (a work in progress). he wonders if the damaged goods are worth the trouble and hopes she thinks they are.]

[ it's a cowardly move, but no more than a few seconds after he finally meets her eyes again does she then flick her own gaze away, like holding his eye right now is too heavy when there's still so many things left unsaid. it's funny, you'd think the hardest part is over now, but turns out confessing is really just the tip of it. her gaze does fall to his bedroom though, so there's at least a reason for her avoidance. ]

We can lay down and talk, right?

[ yes, talking. that thing they should definitely be doing, even if her biggest desire right now is to kiss him again, to fold herself into the circle of his arms and greedily accept the comfort he's always been so ready to offer her.

quietly, she takes his hand and leads them to his room, like this is her own space already. maybe she's making up for being so reserved by making decisions for them, but peter's well within his rights to put a stop to any of this whenever he wants to. maybe it shouldn't feel so easy to climb into his bed and occupy a space that had once belonged to someone else, to roll onto her side that isn't injured so she can face him, face this, whatever it is they want it to be. well. she knows what she wants, but despite his own confessions she has to wonder if he'd find it worth pursuing anything too serious after... well after all he's been through.

but that's what this talk is for, so she may as well start. ]

I like you too, you know. I... got too distracted to say, but. I like you too. A lot.

[how easy would it be to just forgo talking entirely? to let their mouths explore, take the easy route and just let impulse and longing guide them. too easy he realizes. so it means so much more that she wants to talk, doesn't want to take a shortcut, doesn't think that all he wants is something easy, or more importantly, uncomplicated.

peter nods, not quite trusting himself to not say something stupidly sentimental like how he wouldn't mind talking all night if it meant having her by his side. he kind of gathers the feeling that maybe she already knows though. she's smart, so smart, and he's the sort to wear his heart on his sleeve. instead, peter continues to let her take the lead, enjoying the way she moves about his space like she belongs. oh and how he can already see her arrows falling out of his closet or one of her purple flannel shirts hanging off his desk chair. but that's quite the leap ahead. not yet. not yet, peter. he follows suit as they reach the bed, taking the side opposite her, grin playing at the corners of his mouth as he realizes that she's chosen to occupy the half that isn't his (what good fortune.)

the bed is clearly big enough that they don't need to be tucked so closely together, but peter can't help but inch closer, let his arm loosely wrap around her waist, dip their foreheads together again as she breaks the silence.]

I ... [he swallows the lump in his throat, wishing that there was a way she could just touch him and know the depths of his heart.]

I was afraid to say anything. You know? Because you're beautiful and young and we're friends and I don't have a lot of friends.

Plus, I'm not exactly a catch.

[a self-deprecating chuckle follows before he continues, finding the words easier to say as he doesn't stop to fret about the consequences before they come to pass.]

But we like each other and not in a 'young woman wants to see if older men are in fact better than guy her age or older man wants to relive his youth' sort of way.

Am I summarizing correctly?

[ she can't seem to find the words to articulate how grateful she is that he still seeks out that closeness. now that she's had a taste for it she really can't see herself not wanting more of it. not really knowing what else to do with her hands, she curls her fingers around the front of his shirt. had it really only been an hour or so ago when she'd been on his couch, gripping his clothes out of fear and pain instead? it seems so far away from now. ]

Sounds about right. But you forgot the part where you're a major catch because you're smart and capable and hot and have a good heart and I will literally fight you on this.

[ let's just get that clear right from the start. is kate really that much of a brat that she subscribes to the "no one can make fun of you but me, not even you" mentality? yes, yes she is, problem? ]

But. It is scary. I get that. [ opening your heart and your life to someone always is, nevermind all the baggage that comes with doing what they do. ] I didn't say anything for a long time because I didn't want to make things weird.

[ there's such a giant difference between having feelings and acting on them, but it's pretty comforting to know they both valued their friendship enough that neither of them wanted to risk ruining it. was there a part of kate that worried he would have dismissed her because of her age? yeah, definitely. she feels guilty about it now. peter wouldn't have been so patronizing. ]

But... it's not weird. Right? It feels... good. We both want this.

[ it's both a statement and a question. with the additional unspoken question of, so what is this? ]

That's not a fair fight right now.

[he gently reminds her, narrowed eyes suggesting that he still doesn't agree, but will let it slide because he's not about to do anything that might result in them hurling insults, however good-natured they might be, or wrestling on the floor just to prove who's more capable, but hearing her say with such conviction that she thinks he's worthwhile is such a relief that his eyes flicker shut for just moment as he lets that feeling settle in his chest.

when he opens his eyes again, it's to a curious look, an unspoken question. what are they? he knows what he wants. it's her. it's been her for some time now.]

No. It's not weird at all. It feels like we've been slowly heading in this direction the whole time. Really nice having that. Right even. Together.

You know, if you'll have me.

[ it feels right, saying it like that. together. whatever they are, whatever they're going to be, they'll be it together, and doesn't that just make it so much less daunting that way? maybe kate's getting ahead of herself, maybe deep down she really is more of a romantic than she ever thought she'd be, but somehow everything and anything seems a lot more possible now that they can say that. together. they already make a good team, they're already such good friends, she can't imagine they'll be anything less than compatible in other ways too. oh god, imagine the sex—

okay okay now she's definitely getting ahead of herself. one thing at a time. ]

I will. I want you.

[ her hand flattens against his chest then, seeking out the spot where his pulse beats the hardest. ]

All of you.

[that shift in her voice absolutely does something to the hammering in his chest and he swallows hard, knowing that he can't hide that from her any more than he could convincingly lie. is she thinking about what else they could be doing in bed right now? how they'd move together, fitting like puzzle pieces.]

Something tells me you're not thinking about spooning right now.

[because that's what he'd been thinking of. he moves his hand up, cups her cheek and kisses her, sucking on her lower lip before letting it go with a pop.]

I'm interested, but there's no need to rush.

[ how could she not think about that, when every kiss they've had thus far has been so much better than the last?

it's probably not a good idea though, right? given all that's happened, and her shoulder still needing to heal. kate's really bad at waiting, at holding off on something when she's made up her mind about it. but there are some things precious enough to handle carefully. the last thing she wants to do is accidentally fuck this up somehow.

though if he wants her to keep it in her pants better he's really going to have to stop looking at her like she's the very thing holding up the moon right now, christ. ]

I want to do this right. Even if I'm not really sure what that means.

[ she chews on the very lip he'd just been sucking, feeling how it still tingles. ]

You should keep kissing me though. That feels pretty right.

[for someone who's professing some degree of uncertainty here, she's doing just fine, which may be at least partially to blame for the way that peter keeps looking at her. a look which he'd classify as very fond, none of this hanging of the moon business, thank you very much. he's not that much of a sap. (okay maybe he is. bite him.)]

I don't think that there's a one-size fits all approach we can go by here. Unless you think someone's written a book about dating a superhero.

[there may be something ghostwritten by lois lane, actually, now that he's thinking of it but that's really not relevant here — he's no damsel and she doesn't wear a cape. what he can say with utmost certainty is...]

But I don't need a book to tell me that for once I agree with you. Kissing does feel right. Try not to let it get to your head, will you?

[he grins wide, amused endlessly with himself. having satisfied his need to talk things through, peter bridges the gap between them once more, wraps his arms around her in a very solid, sure embrace and kisses her like there's all the time in the world.]

you know you're gonna be okay — open post

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