thwipandquip | you know you're gonna be okay

[ it's getting easier to ignore the click and whirr of the camera, especially when kate can keep her focus on the way he keeps smiling at her. funny how something so simple can make her feel both weightless and grounded. ]

I heard something like that.

[ rather, it'd been something she looked up one day, after being on the receiving end of one of peter's science ramblings. easy enough to find his name among the graduates and doctoral candidates of empire state university. as someone whose own college plans took a sudden backseat to the shift in heroism in her life, she'd only found herself growing more respect for him. school is hard enough when you're also not actively trying to save new york city or the world. ]

You'd look pretty hot in a lab coat.

[ when he turns the question on her, she can only shrug. ]

Before the Young Avengers, I had a whole roadmap already laid out for me. Finish up school, get into Harvard Business. Dad was adamant one of his kids pick up where he'll leave off, and Susan was just too soft-hearted for it. Dad always said I was shrewd and ruthless enough for business. [ her lips flatten our dryly. ] I used to think it was a compliment.

But, for better or for worse, the Bishop daughters were too much like their mom than their dad. I probably would have just tried to find something in the women's shelters I volunteered at.

Edited 2021-11-06 09:48 (UTC)

[he sets the camera down in favor of shooting her a quizzical look. sure, peter's name might be known here and there in the local scientific community, but that's not her social circle. could she have looked him up? does he have a wikipedia page? are there horribly embarrassing photos of his grad school days? peter is fairly certain there's probably at least the one of him legs akimbo atop a lab bench surrounded by a chalk outline — no sleep plus lab practicals make the most absurd things funny — but wonders what else could be floating around online.

then again, if she's seen any of those photos, she couldn't possibly think he looks hot in a lab coat. they're anything but attractive, doubly so when paired with goggles and gloves.]

I think you'd have been good at that. Nonprofit aid work that is. You care about people. So much.

[he slips his hand in hers, giving it a squeeze.]

How often have you taken on a case just because it was the right thing to do even if the person couldn't pay you?

[ sometimes i care too much, she almost says, but refrains if only not to ruin the mood. she likes how he looks at her like that, full of hope and pride. like she isn't two sneezes away from being a royal fuck up. (when you share a moniker with clinton francis barton, what do you expect?) she wonders if he can tell, from the eager way she grasps his hand back, how she sometimes stays up at night wondering how she hasn't managed to fuck this up just yet. ]

It's.. frustrating, sometimes. Wanting to do so much, but only being able to do so little.

[ it's a hero thing, isn't it? feeling the weight of the world on your shoulders.

she lowers herself down on her back, giving his hand a tug in a silent bid for him to join her. ]

Maybe in a different universe I'm the one with the powers, and you're the one that has to hail a cab anytime they want to head downtown.

It is. For every person you save there's easily a dozen others you can't. It's the worst when you know you can't help and yet you try anyway.

[he nods solemnly in agreement. it's the plight of the hero, or particularly, the plight of the small-time hero, because he doesn't think that the likes of captain america or iron man feel this same gnawing ache for each person that they've failed to help. maybe he's wrong about that though. perhaps it keeps them up at night, the fall out from their world-saving battles: the parents and children. the kids hit him hardest of all.

peter takes the hint, tucks his chin on her shoulder as he curls around her on his side, hand still wrapped in hers coming to rest atop her beating heart. he's not sure how he's managed to not screw things up between them but one day at a time seems to be working out best.]

Maybe there is, but I think you're pretty amazing even without the powers. I remember what I was like before. Not very remarkable other than being smart. Do you think alternate universe me and alternate universe you would've figured their shit out though? Or do you think we'd still be awkwardly checking each other out when the other person wasn't looking?

[ she hums in response to his agreement, but decides to leave it at that. she could go on, they could go on, but it's not exactly the mood she wants his camera to immortalize. not even the mood she wants to linger in for too long. she spends more than enough of her own time feeling shitty about her shortcomings, she's definitely not looking to mar her time with peter by doing the same thing.

so she endeavors to focus on the other thing instead. maybe he's just joking, but that he's assuming the two of them would still have feelings for each other even in another universe brings a small smile to her lips, a giddy little thing she has to consciously keep at bay. it's sweet — more than sweet, actually, but right now she can't even begin to articulate how much it really means to her (or rather, she probably can, if she let herself think about it long enough, but a part of her is afraid of what she might find at the end of that road, of what it would mean for the both of them once she can no longer pretend not to notice it).

she rolls onto her side to face him, letting their hands get trapped between the small space she allows between them. inching close enough till their foreheads press again and she can breathe in the soap still lingering on his skin. ]

I have to hope there's some iteration of us that's got their shit together. Bet they're celebrating some cute anniversary or something. Dinner, moonlit walk, some really nasty sex.

I like that your idea of a cute anniversary date includes a filthy ending.

[he isn't joking, not in the least. he knows that given the proper opportunity, there's no doubt that at least one other peter parker out there in the multiverse who feels at least something of what he does. how could he not?

not that he needs the confirmation. the only thing that matters is this universe and this kate. the one he's lucky enough to have in his life. peter shifts closer, tangling their legs together. there. that's better]

But even if there isn't another us, that's okay, because we got our shit together and I want those things with you. All of them.

[he grins and it's sweet. so sweet as he looks at her like she's the only woman in the world until it shifts as it does so easily between them.] If you want to buy me flowers and take me out on a fancy date, I promise I'll put out at the end of the night.

Whatever nasty things you feel like doing. I'm game.

[ kate merely smiles innocently, punctuating it with a small shrug of her shoulders. she likes what she likes, and apparently that runs the gamut of romantic dinners and a night of vigorous passion. of course it helps that she's got someone she actually wants to do all those things with, things she never really thought she'd be all that into. anniversaries, even for things as mundane as their first meeting, their first op together — who would've thought? kate had never considered herself particularly sentimental or romantic, but then again her relationships tend to be fraught with a myriad of other issues (mostly kate not having her own shit together) so this thin with peter... it's as much a miracle as it is a big breath of relief. ]

That easy, huh? [ she bites down on her lip, but it does nothing to dim the brightness of her grin as she inches closer still, slipping a bare leg further up along his to nestle comfortable between his thighs. ] Don't worry, I won't lose my respect for you.

[ she quiets for a couple of seconds, letting the moment just kind of settle. listening to his breath so close to her own. ]

I want all those things too.

[ all those things and more, but is it okay to say it yet? she wants a box of her own, a frame on his shelf, a spot on his fridge under the spidey magnet that's meant to look like one of his webs. she wants so much, wants — his future.

how terrifying. ]

Nasty or not.

I'd hope not.

[he breathes out, shallowly as they tangle even more closely together both physically and emotionally. peter's always given his heart out fully, without reservation even when he's been terrified in equal measure. oh and isn't it scary just how much he wants those milestones with her, wants them for the foreseeable future. he can see her boots taking up space next to his scuffed up sneakers, wants to celebrate birthdays, holidays, and gosh if his family were still alive, he'd like to bring her home.

aunt may would've loved her. most of the time he feels like he's already halfway there himself.]

I'm serious about us. [it's an earnest comment, no exaggerations, accompanied by a kiss pressed to the corner of her mouth.]

Toothbrush serious. Closet space serious. [a few more seconds pass and then he adds because it feels like the right thing, to want her here as much as she wants as she pleases as long as she wants to keep him around.] Spare key serious.

[ kate has faced supervillains, stared down psychopaths and killers, even called out captain america to his perfect supersoldier face. but turns out? true terror is staring at the thing you want most in the world, ready for you to take it, but all you can wonder is if your reverse midas touch won't fuck that up too.

(she'd joked with clint once, on the rare occasion they were both feeling like absolute shits, that it was a hawkeye curse. suddenly it's not so funny anymore.)

for a second there, kate almost does it. almost pulls back like she hadn't been barreling full speed ahead this whole time. it's a stupid reflex, to cower away from something too good, all because of one tiny voice that has no business being listened to in the first place.

peter wants her. and she wants him. he deserves the world, but she has to believe she can give him something close to that. right? otherwise what the fuck is she even doing, holding him like this, making him smile at her like that, daring to wish for more? ]

Really?

[ she grips his shirt with her free hand, grounds herself so she doesn't do something stupid like bolt. woman up, katie kate. you absolute disaster. ]

Me too.

[ and she is. she's young and stupid and so, so out of her depth when it comes to this stuff but he's been so patient. so good. if she has to spend the next however long to be just as good back, so be it. (but god she hopes it doesn't take that long.)

what else is there to do now but kiss him again? kiss him like she means it, surging forward to bruise his lips red and raw. it's relief and excitement and that sun-bursting warm she always feels when she kisses him, the kind that's hard to stop so she doesn't.

of course, just as she starts to roll them over, pull him on top of her so she can feel surrounded by his weight and his scent — the buzzer buzzes. pizza's here. ]

...We've got to work on your timing, Parker.

[at first he just nods ever so slightly, almost like he can't believe he's just laid it all out there, like he's preteen peter parker confessing his first crush — all sweaty palms and nerves galore. then she says those two little words that make him feel like he's basking in the warmth of a summer day, reaffirms their mutual feelings, and the nod gets more vigorous, up down up down like a bobble head between the breaths he steals as she kisses him.

yes. good. this is great. he could so easily get lost in this feeling for the rest of his days, which he does, arms shifting to cradle her face as she maneuvers them over. his hips just barely make contact with hers as the buzzer drags them out of their own private hideaway.

peter groans as he rolls off her and back onto his feet.]

My timing? Like I have any control over the delivery guy.

[he licks his lips as he takes in her kiss bruised lips. grabs the camera really quickly and snaps another photo before lifting his finger in the universal sign that says "one second".]

I'll be right back.

[ the look she gives him as he rolls off is one that very clearly says everything that happens in this apartment is your fault, them's the rules but fortunately she's able to clear it off before he takes that photo. but despite his promise to return, kate takes it upon herself to follow him off the bed and out into the living room (after taking his soda and her wine in hand, of course). despite the state of some of his hoodies, she has a feeling he probably doesn't mean to have dinner right on the bed.

she traipses into the living room right as he's closing the door, momentarily forgetting she's only in a t-shirt so sorry to whoever might have been in the hall at the time, hope you enjoyed that flash of leg. ]

I just realized you never told me what you ordered.

[ her shoulders slump a little, eyes narrowing at him. ]

It's not anchovy, is it.

[the delivery guy has seen worse, so much worse, like the time peter forgot he'd placed an order and had to come running out of the shower with nothing but a strategically placed hand towel. an exposed leg is tame by comparison, but doesn't stop peter from slamming the door shut as soon as he's thrown an acceptable tip in his direction. it might have a little something to do with the way the pizza guy raises his eyebrows as he gets a look at kate. no. just. no.]

Of course it's not anchovy.

[peter sets the box down on the coffee table, cracking open the box to reveal a large pizza — half pepperoni half ham and pineapple. it's not some grand gesture, but it kind of is.]

I'll have one of those weird slices, but the rest are all yours.

[ it's a grand gesture on top of a grand gesture, since kate never would have expected peter to acknowledge the combination of toppings' existence unless there was a literal gun to his head... so finding he's not only ordered it but even offers to try a slice?? romance isn't dead, he's just taken. ]

A spare key and Hawaiian? You're going to run out of anniversary gift ideas at this rate.

[ she thinks she's doing a pretty good job at keeping her emotions in check at the moment, because she really is incredibly touched by the gesture. it's a ripple effect from all that had happened up till now, like it's just one more sign showing just how right this all is.

setting the drinks down by the pizza box kate helps herself to her favorite seat in peter's apartment — his lap. ]

You should tank up. I might not let you sleep tonight.

Don't worry. I've still got tricks up my sleeve.

[he comments, arm going around her as she wriggles around finding just the right spot, the right angle to settle atop him. he raises an eyebrow at the next bit, not all too convinced she can, will and want be damned.

he's eager to find out all the same, and so he picks up that slice of hawaiian, prods at the yellow fruit and takes an experimental bite. it's not terrible, but his opinions remain unchanged. pineapple has no place on pizza. he swallows it down with a swig of soda.]

Oh yeah? You sure you'll be able to keep your eyes open?

[ she settles on sitting across his lap, perpendicular to him with her knees drawn up by his arm. she watches him take his first bite and grins, stupidly pleased over such a small thing. she offers him a wet kiss on the corner of his mouth as consolation, only to pull back and purse her lips at him. ]

You know when you say things like that I have to take it as a challenge, right?

[ and kate physically cannot back down from one. it's her this-universe's kryptonite. ]

So I go a little light on the wine tonight, it's fine.

I count on it.

[half the fun is seeing that determined glint that she gets. since he doesn't have to worry about any further interruptions, it's the most natural thing in the world to pull her in for a kiss, tongue tracing the seam between her lips until he can get a better taste of her.]

Besides, I really do want to see if you can make it. I bet you look really good at sunrise.

[ she can taste the pineapple on his tongue when he kisses her, and it just reminds her all over again the things he does for her and just how weak it makes her knees.

she leans in close even when he pulls away, licking the lingering taste of him on her lips. ]

I guess we do have a habit of sleeping in.

[ it's an unfortunate side effect of their job, the odd hours. makes dating a pain, double-lives on time of that. how lucky neither of them have to worry about that here. ]

What do I get if I make it?

The satisfaction of proving me wrong?

[that's not the only thing, of course, but he feels like it should be a compelling reason. the spirit of competition is still alive and strong between them, even if the stakes have grown rather ridiculous.

when she doesn't seem as convinced as he is that's a prize to be treasured, peter amends his statement, again with the obvious. it's pretty clear he's asking for her to give him a hard time with the way his mouth tilts, eyes crinkling in amusement.]

Was the implied promise of orgasms, plural I might add, not enough?

[ he gets a gentle boop to the nose for his efforts. ]

I get that kind of satisfaction pretty often. Both of those.

[ again with that glint in her eyes, further emphasized by the smug smirk that tugs on her lips. she lets her finger drop, catching lightly on his bottom lip along the way. when she leans in closer still, his spidey-senses can probably tell she's got something planned... something that's probably a 55% chance of being a bad idea. ]

Let me try thwipping sometime.

[ yep, that'll do it. ]

[uh oh. that look spells trouble, no radioactive superpowers needed. it's the kind of look she sports before running into a building to save someone or daring him to take on some restaurant's eating challenge. peter takes a breath and waits for the metaphorical shoe to drop. kate, in typical fashion, doesn't disappoint.

he quirks and eyebrow as he considers how to respond. a flat no would be bad. very bad, but he's not convinced that this idea won't end in an er visit.]

You want me to let you leap of the side of a building armed with one of my web shooters, your wits, and your Hawkeye training, is that right? Do you want to go splat? Because I'd be really sad if you did.

[ that petulant pout of hers shows up right on time, too. she sits up a little straighter, serious mode on. ]

C'mon I took gymnastics. Not to downplay your skill, of course, [ she makes sure to add that last bit, complete with a mollifying kiss to the cheek, ] but what if I used two web shooters? Off a smaller building? A tiny, baby one.

[a long, exaggerated sigh is his response. is kate like that moose in the children's book with the muffin? first one web shooter, then two. next thing he knows she'll be asking for her own spider-themed suit. and while yes he probably could put together something that would fit and keep her safe and allow her to thwip right alongside him... but that's just the worst-case scenario machine talking.

he clears his throat, swayed by the pout and kiss and that overwhelming desire to just make her happy.]

Just how tiny is tiny, Kate?

Ant-Man tiny.

[ at the first sign of concession, she readjusts herself so she's seated facing him, a thigh on either side of his hips and her arms slung around his neck. pizza and wine can wait. ]

Or however small it has to be to still work. It'll be fine.

That's a very wide range of sizes.

[he protests half-heartedly, hands moving to rest atop her thighs as soon as she shifts. peter really should at least try to be annoyed that he's so easily read, that a pout and the press of her body warm against his own is all it takes to make him cave. while he can't seem to say no, he can at least set some ground rules.]

We can try off the roof, but you're not doing it solo and I'm only giving you one.

[ frankly it's cute he even makes an attempt to protest. as if they both don't already know his answer was already a yes before she even asked. at least kate never uses her powers for evil.

she does hem and haw for a bit, like she's seriously considering his terms. ]

Hmm... fine. Deal.

[ another kiss to the cheek, because he deserves it for all the bullying he puts up with. ]

Don't worry, it'll be fun. All those times I watched you doing your thing has led up to this moment. I won't even scream in your ear this time.

you know you're gonna be okay — open post

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